Cheetos and squirrels
by bluewatcher
Summary: A 2 part SSDM story while my main one is being completey rewritten. Random and cute, enjoy
1. Chapter 1

K this is for all the peoples...k person tear who liked my current story enough to review, even though i have to rewrite it soon cause...er yeah it sucks. Then I'll continue it! muhahahhaha yes my bad witing shall continue to plauge this website! JOY! No don't cry, i know ya love it! Lol so yeah this is for Kyer,thnx 4 your constuctive critism! Ya said you liked stories with this pairing. I haven't really used it much so sorry if it's too OTC. I really am not good at writing slash guy/guy so yeah but here ya go in all it's randomness. A story about cheetos, squirrels, and love!

PART 1

Severus and Draco walked along the lake peacfully, both content to just be in eachothers presence. They sat down by a large oak tree, blood red in the midst of it's fall colors. With a grin Draco took the picnic basket from his pocket enlarging it, he quickly dove in and nabed a bag of cheetos.

Snape eyed the muggle food with distaste, "What are those?"

"Dere mmmm cheos mmmm day mmmmgood" Draco got out with his mouth full of the cheesy calories sticks.

Snape eyed Draco with a fond exasperation "You just keep getting odder love" he murmed to him, gazing at the beautiful blond youth through half closed eyes.

When Draco just kept munching on the muggle snack obliviouse to his adoring gaze the dark porfessor sighed and reached his hand out to take Draco's in his own. Thinking only of the others soft warmth, he was naturally suprised when Draco bit him with a low growl.

Snape groaned cradling his arm as he glared at his student/lover. " Why praytell me did you find it nessecary to bite me for holding your hand? God, you better have your shots mister. If I become a were-ferret I'll know exactly who to blame" he sarcastly mumbled while he healed his hand.

Draco looking completely unfazed hugged his cheetos closer. "Sorry Sevey, I thought you were trying to get my preciouse cheetos" Draco murmed while lovingly stoking the bag. Completely ignoring Snape's death glare at the ridicoulse answer he added with a smirk,"And I'm not the least ashamed of my ferret form. Ferrets are rescpectable beautiful creatures" he preened. Then a dark look crossed the boys fair face, "Unlike those goddamn ferret wanna be squirrels! With those stupid tails and..."

Snape quickly tuned out, having heard this speech ever since Draco had realized his animorgaus form. He still had no idea why the boy hated the creatures so much.

"...not to mention how the stupid...EEKKKKKK!". Severus looked up at his lovers outraged squeak. As if on que a big fat grey squirrel had apeared right by an outraged and terrified Draco.

Before Snape could stop him Draco had his wand out and shot a curse at the creature, yelling about fluffy demons from hell. The look on his lovers face was almost comical as the curse was deflected. But before he could explain the protection charm on the animal's of Hogwarts Draco gave a terrified squeak. "Ohmygod ohmygod...I knew it! They have evil squirrel powers and are gonna use them to take over the world! We're doomed! We're all gon...Noooo! get back here you furry little bastards!" Draco's terrified voice turned into a growl as two squirrels took off with his beloved cheetos.

Slytherin mask completely forgotten Draco colapsed to the ground with a sob. Then giving an angry squeak quicky transformed into a ferret and chased after the retreating creatures and his cheetos.

Snape groaned any hope of a romantic picnic demolished as he caugth a glimpse of his lovers white tail before he completely disapeared. Sighing he stretched out in the sun taking out his book. Why wasn't he suprised?


	2. Chapter 2

A/N This is the second half... a year later cough I've forced this story on my friends, Sara and LeRoy (yes the creator of the magnificent Liggle) Now I want only nice reviews, for your sake. Seriously. LeRoy is a bit insane... She is also mucho talented at tracking people down. I do not claim any thing in this story, espicaly any thing involving shitting or humping... enjoy. In future references, LeRoy also doesn't wish to claim this, or be held responsible. She was sugar-high... :)

LeRoy-I was sugar high and despite what you all may think, this story is super tranvestite sexy! YA! Dont judge my other storys by this one.

SARA-I am Lima Bean, the most awesomest person in the world. If you make fun of the cheetos i will have leroy track you down and do... well i dont know but its leroy she will do sumfin bad...lol. and give a review give a review...If you r a cute guy call me...yay that is all i have ta say so buh bye peoples

A/N...Again.. Sara doesn't quite realize boys that luv slash dunt luv girls...unless ur bi wink wink sara is not desperate T.T, hehehe. Oh and tell LeRoy to write stories, I shall make her an account and force her to write muahahahahhahahaa hehehe

About 2 hours later Draco strode back to where Snape was laying reading."Well, is everything taken care of love? Did you get your beloved Cheetos back"  
"No! Those damn squirrels tried to attack me! I could of died if I hadn't returned to your presence" this last part Draco whispered, and blushed soon afterward.  
Taken by surprise, Snape walked to Draco and drew him into his arms. "Of course love, of course." he whispered into Dracos ear.  
Suddenly Draco bit onto Snapes arm, ruining the moment. "WHAT THE BLOODY HELL DID YOU DO THAT FOR?" Snape bellowed. Draco coming back to reality exclaimed,"You smelled like Cheetos and I'm still hungry!" "Fine we'll go to the store and buy you some more of those bloody cheetos!", cried Snape, exasperated.  
"Can we get swirlly cheetos, I like swirlly cheetos more," squealed Draco in excitemtment.  
"We can get you bloody swirls just shut the hell up until we get there ok," snape muttered in annoyance.  
As they walked to the Quicky Mart they made out in a dark alley, they knocked over trash cans and bumped into walls. Then when that was all over, they went to the Mart and found swirlly cheetos and hot cheetos, but now Draco couldn't decide. Draco wanted both so he shoved the hot cheetos in his mouth. Leaving the Quicky Mart Snape pondered why Draco was being so silent. Then when he tried to kiss him again he found out by getting a very hard bite on the mouth. "WHAT THE FUCK?" Again Draco replied," Cheetos.Sorry..." and pointed to his mouth. The already tired Snape Hissed and Growled in Anger. Finally they arrived home. Snape immediatly went to the bedroom and threw an Emo fit. Draco, oblivious to the emotional Snape, just sat calmly on the sofa in the living room and watched Yaoi. With a bag of cheetos.

Draco was getting tired and decided to go to bed. As he entered the bedroom he noticed Snape sitting up in bed glaring at him. "What? What did I do?" Draco asked. In reply Snape motioned for Draco to come to the bed. When Draco finnally came to the bed Snape simply turned over and ignored him. "I'm sorry" Draco whispered as he climbed into bed and wrapped his arms around the Emo Snape. Not long after both were asleep in each others arms, with Cheetos all around them.

Then when morning came Snape realized he was late for his waxing appointment, which he was in great need of. He hadnt had a bikini wax for months. He raced out of bed got his cloths on and went out the door. An hour later Draco had awakened, and thought that Snape had just left him because he might still be having his EMO fit. Draco then went to the store to get a dozen roses and a box of chocolates. But he got hungry.  
When snape returned to the house he saw Draco sittin on the toilet naked taking a shit. The chocolates have seemed to be eaten by Draco and it turned out it had been laced with laxitives by the evil old drug store lady!  
"What is that stench," Snape says in a disgusting voice. "N...N...No more choclate. It was so good, but it had laxitives in it," Moaning Draco says.  
"Oh my gosh, are these roses for me!"cried Snape in a girlish voice. He gave Draco some Peptobismal and swept him of into their bedroom Where they made girlish love to each other for the rest of the day."Why what a hairless bikini line you have Snape!" Cried Draco Between Frenchies.

The next day they won the lottery and got 5 milliom dollars and they moved to Kabo in a mansion where they could eat all the cheetos they wanted and hump each other all day long while being constipated. Sadly one thing that they didnt have was more PEPTOBISMAL! 


End file.
